Sometimes on the way to your dream,

you get lost and find a better one.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

I have little energy today

I'm not physically tired, it's more an emotional draining


I've learned that my ex-father in law is in the hospital here.
He has emphysema and pneumonia.
He's 85.
He's a tough old thing and could get well enough to go home again.

Here's where I fall apart. Should I go and see him? Should I not?

There was a family gathering years ago, where I was feeling a little humiliated. Probably wrong of me, but I felt it quite keenly at the time and distanced myself emotionally from the family. (K's family; my own family was never close. )
I distanced myself even further when K and I divorced a few years after that.
It's what I do; it's how I cope with emotional pain.

I haven't seen K's parents since that time.
The rift is wide.
20 years wide.

What to do? I kind of feel like I should go and see him, but part of me says why?
Would he even recognise me after all this time?
Would I recognise him?
It's been 20 years. He's 85.

I don't know how long he's been in the hospital, I didn't think to ask.
Go? Don't go?

I'll sleep on it.

8 comments:

  1. I'm not going, but then I hate emotional shit even more than you do.

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  2. kalamac; I have my own appointments to take care of tomorrow, then I'll phone and if he's still there, I'll go. I can combine it with taking my camera to the botanic gardens.

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  3. I divorced my ex 20 years ago but I attended my mother in laws funeral, she was 93yo, my children coped with her loss better by having me there.

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  4. Go and see him, why not? It could change everything.

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  5. Frances; none of us is very close to him or the mother in law either. I'm still trying to think what the heck I'd say to him/them.

    R.H.; I'm still deciding. I was going into town yesterday, but it was cold and rainy and I spent the day watching dvd's instead. i still haven't even rung the hospital to see if he's still there.

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  6. I'm with RH - maybe just five minutes could provide some 'closure' or simply just make a sick old bloke smile....?

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  7. These flowers are giving some message as the positive energy. The flowers are really very sweet.

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete