from No Substitute for Murder by Carolyn J Rose
" A small dog gets up everyday with just one thought on his mind," my vet had cautioned. "And that thought is 'I will bend you to my will.'"
Small dogs must think they are cats (*~*)
I had a thought a while ago, (don't know where it came from, but there it was in my head), that I should try a cream cheese&chopped raisins spread on my bread.
So I bought spreadable cream cheese and a packet of raisins and a new loaf of rye bread, chopped some raisins, mixed them into about a tablespoon of cream cheese and spread it over a slice of bread.
And how was it?
Really, really awful.
I'll never listen to those thoughts again.
The cream cheese is pushed to the back of the fridge until I decide what to do with it.
The raisins will get chopped into the oats/dried fruits mix I cook as porridge for breakfast.
An article in our local free weekly paper bemoans the loss of some (most) of our Aussie colloquialisms. People these days are 'OMG'ing and 'WTF'ing instead of saying 'you beauty; bonza; you little ripper!' Not to mention 'strewth' and 'crikey'.
This has been written about before, but no one seems to be taking much notice. Our country is being Yankified faster than I can get out of my socks.
'Mate' and 'cobber' have been replaced by 'dude', 'buddy' and 'pal'. Think about that for a minute. Think about 'G'day mate'. 'G'day buddy' just doesn't sound as good.
Even our rhyming slang is fast disappearing. When was the last time someone offered you some 'dead horse' (sauce) to go on your pie'n'chips? When did anyone ask how the 'billy-lids' (kids) are doing at school?
Then there's the distinctly Aussie metaphors. 'A few snags short of a barbie; a few roos loose in the top paddock; camp as a row of tents'. Someone on the large side, a strong, hefty fellow, might be described as 'built like a brick s***-house'. (outhouse; dunny). He could also be as 'fit as a mallee bull'.
Anyone throwing a bit of a tantrum would be 'carrying on like a pork chop'.
The article goes on to say "we must keep the cornerstone of our dialect - G'day- in daily use if we're 'ridgy-didge' and 'fair dinkum' about keeping our language (vernacular) alive.
When immigrants arrived here after World War 2, they assimilated fairly quickly and most were soon talking just like us.
But with accents.
Nowadays, with most Australianisms disappearing as fast as a new Maccas goes up, I don't think the current crop of newbies, mostly Asians and Indians, has much of a chance. They'll assimilate, they'll get jobs, their billy-lids will go to school, but I can't see any of them saying 'stone the flamin' crows', or 'she'll be right mate', 'dead set', 'bob's your uncle', 'safe as houses'. With or without accents.
And just for the record, Australians eat bikkies (biscuits) not cookies. Our billy-lids eat lollies, not candy.
Don't get me wrong here, I still like all my American friends, and their choc-chip cookies, I just wish that more of us Australians were interested in keeping the old sayings alive.
Sadly, that won't happen. A couple of generations from now, all that will be left is an occasional newspaper article like the one I've mentioned here.
A Shocking Crime
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