Thursday, September 30, 2010
I've heard it said that Heaven must be a fantastic place.
People are dying to get there.
All your problems fade into insignificance, or disappear instantly, as you step through the Pearly Gates.
Health problems? Gone.
Wealth problems? Gone.
Panic attacks? Gone.
Assorted phobias? Gone.
Tooth decay? Gone.
Ditto dandruff, weak fingernails and split ends.
Why does Heaven have Pearly Gates anyway? Since there's no fence, I would think you could just walk (float?) in anywhere. Yet movies and cartoons have a beautiful set of gates, with a line of souls waiting to pass through.
In Heaven, you no longer need to work. You just lay about on fluffy white clouds. Maybe playing a little harp music now and again. If you get too bored just laying about, I understand that you can volunteer to polish halos, or fluff up the new sets of wings.
In Heaven, if the TV advertisements are to be believed, you can eat as much Philadelphia Cream Cheese as you like. There doesn't seem to be any other food up there, not even chocolate. Now that is a sad state of affairs. Chocolate should be available everywhere. EVERYWHERE.
In Heaven, everyone wears white. What's with that? I like colours. Yet angels are never depicted wearing anything but white. Unless they're sent down to earth to help someone out of trouble, because the angel herself (or himself) has been not so good in real life and needs to earn his or her wings and halo. Then they dress as normal living people.
Apart from all that laying about on clouds and wearing white, there doesn't seem to be much to do in Heaven. Well, there's the Philly Cheese picnics....
But there hasn't been any mention of libraries up there, for those that love to read. Surely, a love of reading doesn't stop when you walk through those magnificent gates.
Love woodwork? Carving or constructing? Where are the Heavenly sheds?
Love music? There are the harps of course, but maybe you prefer drums? Honky Tonk piano?
Steel guitars? Are there any of these up in Heaven?
I'm inclined to think that Heaven does have a few bowling alleys, that's where the sound of thunder comes from. Right?
So possibly, there ARE other facilities in Heaven. Not everyone has to loll about on the fluffy white clouds.
Perhaps there are different parts of Heaven, just like there are different countries down here on earth.
Nationalities are ignored. As they should be down here on Earth.
All the wood whittlers have a Heavenly little shed with a never ending supply of wood.
Readers have a Heavenly library with endless stacks of books.
Musicians have a Heavenly auditorium, where they can jam singly or in groups as the whim takes them.
People who love colours can have a rainbow of robes and wings to choose from. Even their fluffy clouds needn't be white. They could reside in the part of Heaven where rainbows come from.
Even Nerds could have a Heavenly Internet Cafe to hang out in.
I have to say, if the Heaven that I get into doesn't have anything but fluffy clouds and white, I might just decline to walk through those Pearly Gates, and come back here. Or find another Heaven.
Where there is colour and variety.
Heaven is supposed to be a happy place, after all.