lazy posting- -aka brain dead today

A long time ago, I was reading over at lunatic-kate and came across a list of funnies that made me laugh.

Here are some of them and I hope they make you laugh too.

• My husband and I divorced over religious differences, he thought he was God and I didn't.
• I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
• Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
• I used to have a handle on life but it broke.
• You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
• Out of my mind; back in 5 minutes.
• God must love stupid people; he made so many.
• Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
• Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.
• A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
• He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
• Ham and eggs; a day's work for the chicken, a lifetime commitment for the pig.
• The trouble with life is there's no background music.
• I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on.