Wednesday's Words on a Friday


The original Words for Wednesday was begun by Delores and eventually taken over by a moveable feast of participants when Delores had computer troubles. Sadly, Delores has now closed her blog forever due to other problems.

The aim of the words is to encourage us to write. A story, a poem, whatever comes to mind.

If you are posting an entry on your own blog, please let us know so we can come along and read it.

This month the prompts are supplied by Mark Koopmans and can be found here.

This week's words/prompts are: 
1. constipation 
2. rivalry 
3. occupation 
4. sneeze 
5. wishy-washy 
6. diatribe  

and/or:  

1. snot 
2. beluga 
3. emergency 
4. qualify 
5. coffee 
6. butt

Here is my story, we've gone downstairs this week, way, way down:


Lucifer stomped around the receiving room’s hellfire, seething. His diatribe earlier had done nothing to improve his mood and now he was out of sorts. Usually he loved scaring the pants off the wishy-washy new inmates, who had no idea why they were there instead of up with God’s angels. 


Like that nurse who had killed the premature newborns, believing that they had no real chance and were better off with their souls in God’s care. All those souls now back in heaven!  Lucy had tried to explain to the silly woman that HE could have had those souls if they’d just been allowed to live long enough for him to tempt them and all she could say was “but…but…but” until he’d screamed in her face that if she “butted” one more time he’d kick her butt!


Then there was the man who claimed he had just been making coffee when his house inexplicably caught fire. Happy enough to collect the insurance though and when his wife burnt to death he was happy enough to collect her insurance too wasn’t he? He didn’t think he belonged in Hell either. Lucifer gave him a half hour of fire-and-brimstone yelling too, then sentenced him to three centuries of constipation. 


Lucy’s biggest worry was the young lad who had deliberately done bad things all his life, somehow wanting to be just like HIM. He actually thought he could come down to Hell and learn this occupation, as if it was a job that you got paid for. There was going to be plenty of rivalry over that, for sure. On the other hand, an apprentice might be nice. The lad might qualify for that. There was the little matter of the sneeze that sent snot all over Lucy’s beluga caviar, but a few thrashings with a burning branch would see an end to that behavior.


“I still don’t understand why I don’t feel better though,” said Lucifer to himself. He glanced upward to the small window that allowed him a view of God’s Heaven. Perhaps if he created an emergency type of happening up on the Earth, God might come down and they could have a little chat? Mr Goody-Two-Shoes was family after all. Maybe the kitchen minions could be talked into making some chocolate lava cake for the occasion. With real lava of course.

Comments

  1. "...with real lava of course."

    Clever!

    This was a bit horrifying. Sobering. You should do one of a soul who finds himself in Heaven unexpectedly.

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    Replies
    1. My icon is very huge. Is it huge on your screen too? Not sure why. 🤔

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    2. Sandi; sorry to horrify you, I thought it would be a change to see things from "the other side", since we'd been to God's Observation Deck last week. The icon doesn't look huge to me.

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    3. It does look big to me as well. And it did ysesterday as well, I thougth the error was only my place.

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  2. Replies
    1. only slightly confused; thank you and thank you again for getting me started on these :)

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  3. Reminding of The Screwtape letters. Brilliant!

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    Replies
    1. Charlotte; I haven't heard of The Screwtape letters, is that a book?

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    2. EC, quick and to the point as usual. Thanks.

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  4. Smiling a lot - and wondering how many calories there are in a real lava cake.

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    Replies
    1. Elephant's Child; genuine chocolate lava cake probably has way too many calories, unless you are in heaven where there are no calories, A lava cake with Real Lava, probably has calories but I'm sure I couldn't eat it.

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  5. You always make me smile as you seamlessly slip in one of the words I would have been challenged by. So glad Lucy has the blues but hope he leaves Earth alone.

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    Replies
    1. Arkansas Patti; it's not often Lucy has the blues, more often he's in a fit of rage and causing havoc. I hope he leaves Earth alone too, we're having enough troubles already.

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  6. I know for sure I am one of the Downstairs crowd and NO COMPLAINTS!

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    Replies
    1. nothoughtsnoprayersnonothing; how can you be 100% sure? My mum used to say God didn't want her and neither did the devil, so I don't know where she ended up.

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    2. I think I have a ticket that says "Downstairs - half-price special." I'm very frugal so pretty sure that's where I'm heading.

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  7. Once again, your imagination didn't let you down, River! :)

    Well done! Cuddles to Lola. :)

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    Replies
    1. Lee; thank you. Lola has had her cuddles for today, most of the morning in fact.

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  8. Oh, dear. He will never feel better, it's not in his nature.

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    Replies
    1. messymimi; lucy does have moments where he feels great, usually when some planned mischief works out just the way he wanted.

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  9. The most unfair part is that Lucy probably wouldn't have any problems BURNING OFF THE CALORIES in a real lava cake!

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    Replies
    1. Val; life is pretty unfair about things like that.

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  10. Sentenced to "three centuries of constipation" - best line ever!! What fun, River!

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    Replies
    1. jenny_o; that's a long time to suffer, but that's what Lucy does, makes people suffer. Lucy is short for Lucifer...

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  11. Ok. I nearly fell off my chair checking on "constipation"! Luckily not a word I was familiar with!
    Lucy is mean indeed, I love this story!!!
    You´re a great writer - do you publish the (Lucy-)stories somewhere (else)?
    Thank you, that was a lot of fun! Clever story.

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    Replies
    1. Iris Flavia; I'm surprised you didn't know constipation. Lucy is very mean, but he has feelings, mostly a very HOT temper and likes to get his own way. Lucy is short for Lucifer, this is my take on what he does down in Hell. I usually write from 'God's Observation Deck', which is Heaven, but sometimes Lucy is part of the story.

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  12. Wow. I bow down to you. You aren't just good at writing about heaven, but you've also got a helluva handle on the other place, as well. Your natural humor shines through, too. Great job!

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    Replies
    1. Susan; I'm going to cherish that bow for quite some time, thank you. I might have to include Lucy more often.

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  13. Way down below and your imagination doing so well. Thank you for the great story to read.

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    Replies
    1. Margaret-whiteangel; glad you enjoyed it, thank you for reading.

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