I read this in a newspaper decades ago and thought it was funny
so I copied it and kept it.
Now I'm sharing it with you after finding it hiding in a long forgotten folder.
I do hope the original author doesn't mind.
"Alas, Poor Yorick, I knew him well,
What he died of is hard to tell
Something he ate must have caused his demise
Just what it was may be a surprise
Was it meat or fish, that fatal dish?
Eggs or chicken, milk or cheese?
Sprays on the veg or bugs in the water?
Salmonella in poultry, diseased cattle at slaughter?
Perhaps it was brown bread, that latest of threats,
He did seem so healthy, we’d best hedge our bets.
The Post Mortem will tell at the end of the day,
Just what it was that took him away.
Till then perhaps best not eat or drink,
As we could also be on the brink,
Of a fate just like his, the unfortunate fellow
And die of a fever, be it black, green or yellow
They’ve done the post mortem
‘Twasn’t food irradiation.
He’d heard all the reports,
And died of starvation!"
Now I'm sharing it with you after finding it hiding in a long forgotten folder.
I do hope the original author doesn't mind.
"Alas, Poor Yorick, I knew him well,
What he died of is hard to tell
Something he ate must have caused his demise
Just what it was may be a surprise
Was it meat or fish, that fatal dish?
Eggs or chicken, milk or cheese?
Sprays on the veg or bugs in the water?
Salmonella in poultry, diseased cattle at slaughter?
Perhaps it was brown bread, that latest of threats,
He did seem so healthy, we’d best hedge our bets.
The Post Mortem will tell at the end of the day,
Just what it was that took him away.
Till then perhaps best not eat or drink,
As we could also be on the brink,
Of a fate just like his, the unfortunate fellow
And die of a fever, be it black, green or yellow
They’ve done the post mortem
‘Twasn’t food irradiation.
He’d heard all the reports,
And died of starvation!"
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Got that right LOL
ReplyDeleteGrace; it made me feel so sorry for poor Yorick
DeleteSomething new everyday that news tells you to avoid, they never mention starvation. Funny stuff.
ReplyDeletejoeh; I find it funny that "they" tell you this or that is bad for you and when profits for the company drop, suddenly that food is found to be good for you after all.
DeletePut me in mind of those strange people who live on air (supposedly) and find it satisfying. Nothing else apparently.
ReplyDeleteXO
WWW
WWW; I knew a few girls like that in high school, a nibble of toast for breakfast, half an apple at lunch. They must have eaten decent dinners though, because none of them wasted away.
DeleteSmiling.
ReplyDeleteMedical advice changes (dramatically) over time too.
Early English travellers to Turkey for example noted the lovely skin of the women - and put it down to eating lots and lots of sugar. Similarly, smoking was originally considered an excellent way to ward off germs in unsanitary homes.
Elephant's Child; I'm wondering now if the sugar thing had any truth to it. We ate a lot of sugar growing up and I never had a single pimple until I developed rosacea in my fifties. I've seen olden day advertisements that encouraged smoking, not only to kill germs, but to keep a developing baby small so that the birth would be easier on the mothers. It didn't work for my mother, I was 8 pounds and a few ounces, my brother ten and a half pounds.
DeleteJoeh says it so well.
ReplyDeleteSusan Kane; joeh does have a way with words.
DeleteFunny and very apt today.
ReplyDeleteAndrew; yes, with all the fuss about what foods are good, bad and downright scary. I tend to ignore all the hoo-ha and eat what I know I like.
DeletePoor Yorrick. Well, I'll never die of starvation.
ReplyDeleteJoanne; I won't either, I do love to eat.
DeleteAt least he didn't weaken his immune system with too much Germ-X...
ReplyDeleteVal; I don't think so. I did, when working at the supermarket, the chemical fumes from it made me cough really badly, now I can't breathe anything chemical. I would clean my hands after every extra dirty reusable bag and there were lots of them. People just didn't wash them and they'd be stuffed in the boots of cars or kept in the garage even with stains from meat leakage or spilled milk. I pushed one bag open once and a redback spider crawled up my arm. Another one stank so badly I handed it back and said "I'm not packing that mate."
DeleteI know darn well I won't be dying of starvation.
ReplyDeleteCoffee is on
peppylady(Dora); me neither, I love food.
DeleteEvery day is a new warning, huh
ReplyDeleteAuthor R. Mac Wheeler; I don't listen to the warnings anymore.
DeleteAlas, poor Yorick. I can so relate to this, especially when having babies: "This is unhealthy," "No, it's dangerous," "No, you can't live well without." As changing as the weather. I've had 6 babies, and thus lived through 6 different vaccination schedules and 6 different diet plans (which I all ditched and used my common sense). No, hopefully we won't die of starvation, but begin to use our brains instead.
ReplyDeleteUglemor; I never even considered my diet when I had babies, I just ate what I always ate, the babies were all healthy and none had food allergies. I'll never die of starvation, I love to eat.
DeleteHahahahaha. Omgosh. Being on the tail end of the flu I totally get Yorick!
ReplyDeleteMagical Mystical Mimi; I remember the tail end of the flu the one and only time I got it, I didn't feel like eating anything until my legs stopped being wobbly.
DeleteOh that's great!! I loved reading that! This is one of the reasons whey I'm striving to always make my own food from scratch as much as possible!
ReplyDeleteRain; I used to make a lot from scratch, but never breads or cheese as you are. These days I still eat home cooked meals most of the time, but sometimes I'll buy a pizza or some Chinese take away.
DeleteThat was funny and didn't see that coming. Good thing not to listen to all the hype or starvation will take us all out.
ReplyDeleteArkansas Patti; hype is over rated and people really should have more common sense, but I fear that is dying out.
DeleteI've got a lot of those hidden folders too. I always find the good stuff in them after I need it.
ReplyDeleteGlad you found the poems in yours.
nothoughtsnoprayersnonothing; I've been decluttering some drawers and found them way down in the back all scrunched up.
DeleteGreat poem with an ending twist :) I ignore the reports about good foods and bad foods and try to eat a balanced diet.
ReplyDeletejenny_o; I read somewhere that a balanced diet is having a hamburger in each hand, to balance the weight. it's a joke of course. I think about a balanced diet, but I do admit to days when I just stuff myself with rubbish foods.
DeleteYep, no matter what i eat, it will kill me, so i may as well die with a full tummy!
ReplyDeletemessymimi; it may not be your food that kills you, but your thinking is good. Eat and ignore the hype.
Delete