a poo test kit!
The government approved and supplied National Bowel Cancer Screening Program Kit.
Lay the sheet of collection paper on top of the water in your toilet.
Poo onto the collection sheet.
Try not to get water or urine on the top of the sheet as this will start to dissolve the sheet.
That never works. Dropping a poo onto the sheet sinks it below the water.
Unless your poo is lighter than a feather. And whose is? Anybody?
I've done this before, so I know I'll be squatting over a bucket lined with toilet paper, then the collection sheet on top of that.
The instruction booklet has a form inside to be filled out if you wish to defer until next year, or opt out altogether.
In spite of my recent "clean as a mountain stream" colonoscopy, I'll do the test.