Thursday Thoughts #24

People will happily pat a man on the back if he’s lucky enough to make it, but resent any suggestion they should help him to get there. 
From Life or Death by Michael Robotham

 Today's Thought:

Whatever happened to old fashioned love?

Old fashioned love, when people met, loved, married and stayed together forever. Well, until one of them died anyway.

This happens so rarely these days, with divorces rampant, people in unhappy marriages, people who think they’re happy, but there is always that niggling “what if” in the back of their minds. 

I have a theory on this. Go ahead and laugh, it’s okay. I don’t mind. 

Centuries ago, millenia ago, the earth was far less populated. And those populations lived together in small groups. Souls that were destined to be together, didn’t have to go very far to find each other. They met, they married, life went on.

Then there was a population explosion. Not all at once of course, it took time, but however you look at it, there were many more people about. Souls that were destined to be together still managed to find each other, so life was good. Generally. 

But people began moving around on this little rock of earth, water and fire. A person, soul A,  could get a better education in a different town, state or country. A better job, with more personal satisfaction, maybe a higher rate of pay, in a different city, a different country, a different hemisphere even. Off they went.

Then when it came time to ‘settle down’, they play the dating game, searching for “the one.” Soul B. 
If they were lucky, they found him or her. 
But a lot of the time they found a suitable substitute. Of course they didn’t realise this was a substitute, not right away. 

We’ve all read or heard of people who took a holiday and met “the one” while they were away from their current living space. Soul A meets Soul B. Their Soulmate. 

Some displaced souls go “home” to visit family and old friends and while there, meet their Soulmate, the Soul B to their Soul A, they one that nature has decreed is “the one” for them. 

A few people may spend years together as friends, then one day look at the person sitting next to or across from them and suddenly realise he or she is “the one”. 
Lucky them.
Occasionally a Soul A from one part of the world is destined to be with a Soul B from an entirely different part of the world and in their case the travel for school or work is an advantage.
But for a large portion of the world a long game of musical partners goes on.

Other people simply live alone.  Or stay with the “wrong” partner, in a “used to it” type of harmony. 
And who’s to say the children from this pairing weren’t born specifically to be a Soulmate for similar children from a similar “muddling along the best we can” marriage. 
One, two or even three generations later, descendants from 'get along' marriages will meet and their souls will recognise each other. Another happy forever Soulmate pairing happens.


  1. Sounds plausible to me.

  2. Soulmate sounds a lot like cellmate to me.

    If it were not for divorce I would be living in an affection-less relationship and thinking "this is just the way it is." Divorce is painful, but so is amputation of a gangrenous limb...In the long run it is worth it.

    People who get it right on the first try are very lucky!

  3. Delores; it makes sense to me too. I'm wondering if my soulmate is waiting for my next lifetime.

    joeh; my first marriage was one of those "just the way it is" deals, but I got four beautiful children from that 23 years and the divorce wasn't at all painful since we both knew it had been 'over' for a long time. We never argued, just grew apart. I know a few people who got it right, lucky them.

  4. Your theory certainly has possibilities. And I think that there is an element of what, for want of a better word, I will call laziness. People who believe a relationship should be sunshine and roses all of the time and aren't prepared to work at keeping a relationship going. I don't think it just happens. There is compromise, caring and effort involved.
    I am also very, very glad that divorce is possible. Sometimes staying in a relationship is bad for both parties - and for the children (if any) as well.

  5. I LOVE the song!! I'm stealing it for my post on our 60th anniversary in February.

  6. Lots of thoughts to ponder. It is funny how some people grow together as they get older, as I and my partner have, and others drift apart. I like stories of couples who knew each for quite a while and then one day something suddenly clicked.

  7. Elephant's Child; I married far too young the first time, really had no idea what was involved or that a marriage needed to be worked on. I'd never been told any of this and just went along with the idea that he wanted to marry me, my mum wanted me married off, the whole thing just rolled along and swept me with it. I believe now, that I didn't love him, but we got along well enough and the children were worth it. The second time I jumped in too fast, didn't know him well enough and found out too late that he was an alcoholic with many many phobias and paranoias. I tried to keep it going, tried to help him, but his anger and fear kept growing and I could see he was heading to the point where I'd get hit again so I asked him to leave. I'm still waiting for my soulmate, maybe in my next life.

    fishducky; it's a lovely song isn't it?

    Andrew; I believe those who grow together were meant to be together, while those who grow apart were more likely those who married Mr or Miss Right-now instead of Mr or Miss Right. I know a couple who knew each other for a while then suddenly realised "this is it".

  8. Who understand relationships, I don't understand my own let alone any one else, the oddest ones work out and the ones with everything go ing for them don't.

  9. After 33 years of being alone with someone in the house, I figured I had a lot to lose by ending my marriage, but the first thing I was going to lose was my sanity if I didn't. SCARY to say the least, especially at an age when most people are settling in with whatever they've got.

  10. I married twice; and I divorced twice. I'm still on good terms with both my ex-husbands...and that's the way I like it.

    I've lived alone now since 1986...and I love it. The truth is...I am a loner. I enjoy my own space and privacy. I would never marry again. Since Randall and I split...I've not once considered it.

    And I would never stay with someone...just because...but that's just me...the way I am. Different strokes for different folks.

  11. And good for you, River for standing up for yourself and kicking your abusive second husband to the kerb. I applaud you. :)

  12. Merle; I believe you and the beer fairy are one of the lucky couples.

  13. lotta joy; i felt that way about ending my second marriage; I had to save myself from being dragged down into his permanent depression.

    Lee; I'm on good terms with both my exes too and I'm also a loner, enjoying my own space and privacy. The abusive second hubby, poor guy, is mentally troubled coming from an abusive family; he has a heart of gold, but his depression, his paranoia, his alcoholism, were all dragging me down. I was never happy anymore. And then the anger started showing itself again and I knew he had to leave. He began drinking more often and more each time, always a danger sign with him. He is self destructive too, carries many scars from cuttings and burnings. We're better friends now that we don't live together.

    1. And that is what is important, River...that you have been able to remain on good terms.

      Sometimes it's impossible for one to take on the burdens of another...particularly if the other doesn't want to tackle their own burdens. We have to make our own decisions and we must always protect our own individual self. We're no use to ourselves or anyone else if we don't.

      There is no law saying we have to stay together. I'm not so self-sacrificing to do so even if there is! If you know what I mean. :)


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