coffee and cake?

As I leave work each morning, a couple of friends joke with me about coming too.
We laugh and I say, yeah, let's close the shop and have coffee and cake at my place.

We all know that's not going to happen.
I go home alone.

This is fine with me. I like my workmates, 99% of them at least.
But when it comes to having people in my home......well, I like the idea of visitors much more than I do actually having them.

Family members know me well and I know them, so things generally go alright when they visit.
But I'm uncomfortable in situations where I have to make conversation.

If I arrived home from work, settled down and relaxed, then had friends knock on my door for the joked about coffee and cake, I'd be rocked right out of my socks.

I'd be struck dumb, with nothing to say.
There might be a little conversation about how they like my home (or don't like it, everyone is entitled to their opinion), some talk about the family photos on my walls, maybe a few words about work.
but then conversation would dry up, I'd feel uncomfortable and hope they'd leave soon.

So when I casually (jokingly) say coffee and cake at my place in 15 minutes, please just laugh and ignore me.
Thank You.


  1. You are not alone there. Sad isn't it? I would like to be a more sociable person, but it just doesn't seem to happen.

  2. I remember a few years back when my then wife was having a garage sale and i said that's not a good idea because some criminal might turn up and case our place to see what is worth stealing then come back and rob us, sure enough about a month later the garage was broken into and all my electrical tools stolen, so it pays to weary of unexpected visitors :-).

  3. On the other hand..your friends may knock on the door and you will have a great time..the conversation will flow from subject to subject and you will discuss your hopes and your dreams and will look forward to seeing each other at work more! Friendships grow in the oddest of places. The book of Proverbs says to have a friend!

  4. EC; I'm sociable enough at work and have friends there, but my home is my cave. Lock the doors, take off the uniform, take out the teeth, and just be me.

    Windsmoke; Any visitors here would only be people that I know, or door-to-door salesmen or Jehovah's witness types, they don't get inside.
    My husband would have said the same thing if I'd wanted a garage sale, he's paranoid that way, but he had no hesitation about going to other garage sales. Odd, that. Sad that your garage was broken into though.

    Carol; yes, that is possible, I remember when I was younger, friends would visit or I'd visit them and it was easier. Now I think mostly I've just had enough of talking to people (customers) while at work, so home time is down time, just to be me. Alone and quiet with my thoughts. I have my friends at work, but they're all much younger with different lifestyles to mine.

  5. OK..... when you invite me for cake and coffee, I'll know you are just kidding.

    I like to entertain when I invite people but I absolutely hate to have people "just drop in."

  6. No "drop ins" "drop ins". I need at least half a day to make the place look half decent before anyone shows up. Besides, there's never anything to feed anyone in our house. No snack food, no treats. How embarrassing would it be to have nothing to offer someone who "dropped in".
    I'm with you. The only people that come here are family.

  7. I think is good to know yourself but make sure you test yourself from time to time. We learn more when we take risks x

  8. Oh you should invite me, I'll do all the talking.

  9. I;m the same - I enjoy visiting with others but don't generally like being the hostess ;)

  10. When I come to your place there'll be no time for chatter,
    Bring out that roast,
    Dump it on a platter!

    Eat Burp Inc.

  11. Manzanita; I try not to invite people who aren't family. I very rarely get drop-ins and those that do drop in are usually distant family, like my brother who I see maybe once a year.

    Delores; I don't keep snacks handy either, if I need any for anyone I can make a batch of scones or brownies. The house doesn't matter so much, I figure anyone dropping in is coming to see me, not the level of dust....

    MultipleMum; hmmm, something to think about.

    Baino; you're happy to go on and on while I sit there like a rabbit in the spotlight? Okay then.

    Ro; Being Hostess is a sucky job for us ultra-shy ones.

    R.H. no talking, just eating...that could work.

  12. I'm alright once I know people but I find it REALLY hard to have a conversation with someone I don't really know. I don't do "small talk" well.


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