Sometimes on the way to your dream,

you get lost and find a better one.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

temporary derailment

This news just in:
The Southern Express from Pudgeville to Slimmichtown has been derailed.
The scheduled diet run for January is expected to be on track with repairs to the train being effected ASAP.


Perpetrators of the derailment have not been positively identified, but several of the usual suspects are currently being interrogated.


Suspect number one is well known to authorities.


Having a rap sheet as long as your arm, this seemingly harmless little fellow is guilty of many offences, the most common being leaping off supermarket shelves into the trolleys of unsuspecting shoppers.


Looks completely innocent, doesn't he? But beware. Once in your home, he's almost impossible to eradicate.


Suspect number two is rarely seen in this area.


He has no previous criminal record and it's highly likely.....


...that he's a visitor here and just fell in with a bad crowd.



Suspect number three, a repeat offender, is also very well known and quite possibly the ringleader of this lastest string of offences.
He's a cool customer, his creamy, vanilla flavoured deliciousness enticing many off the straight and narrow into the curves of weight gain.



Street name: Ice Cream. Be very cautious around him as he has the ability to appear charmingly innocent and makes many promises of delivering "just one spoonful a day".




With school holidays almost upon us, you all need to be aware that these three are often seen lurking in the vicinity of children and mums who have "had enough" and blindly toss them into shopping trolleys to get a bit of "peace and quiet".




9 comments:

Red Nomad OZ said...

OMIGOD! Call the police!! So good to have the January schedule to fall back on, isn't it?!?!

Happy travels!

Jayne said...

LOL
Love the usual suspects ;)

R.H. said...

Ice cream looks sweet but he's the worst offender. Meanwhile the crime against Miss Jahteh has about 500 suspects and growing.
ARRESTed development it ain't.

River said...

Red Nomad OZ; January 1st is a new beginning for me. With Christmas looming it's pointless trying to lose weight. I'll settle for maintaining. if I don't put back the 3kg I've recently lost, I'll be happy.

Jayne; I love them too, that's the problem!

R.H. Ice cream, sweet, cool, creamy.....mmmmmm. Definitely the worst offender.

Facing50Blog.com said...

I dropped by from my friend 'Cheese Whine and Whispers' to say hello and find myself roaring with laughter at this post. I have signed up to follow you and maybe I'll feel inspired to catch the right train in January too....the one to 'Slimsville'. Great to meet you.
Carol from www.facing50withhumour.blogspot.com

Cheese Whine and Whispers said...

Oh River you have a fantastic sense of humour.... how do you think these hilarious things up... so funny, I cracked up and again love the photos........ I see you have had a visit from Carol in the UK....

The Plastic Mancunian said...

Oh dear, River,

None of the above have any effect on me - beer on the other hand ...

:0)

Cheers

PM

Kath Lockett said...

Hilarious! May I have your permission to do something similar one day?

I must say that two huge squares of home made short bread (aka compressed butter and sugar) fell into my hands last night, followed by a glass of bailey's.
It's been a shit month at work and being on a diet as well hasn't helped.....

River said...

Facing50Blog; welcome Carol. I've had a bit of a look at your blog too. I'll be back to do some more reading later.

Cheese Whine and Whispers; Sometimes these things just come to me. Other times I struggle to find words.

Plasman; Beer is one of the worst offenders.

Kath; permission granted. Your blog often gives me inspiration too. December is never a good month to diet. Give it up until January. Focus on maintaining current weight instead.