she's gone

My neighbour P, the anorexic, chain-smoking, cancer-ridden ill lady who has spent so much time in hospital in the last few months, has died.

Last night in her sleep and thankfully without a lit cigarette in her hand. 

Her carer A phoned her last night and P picked up the phone but being unable to talk just grunted into the phone, so A knew she was okay. Well, alive at least. But this morning A came to see her as she'd woken with a bad feeling, let herself in with the spare key and found P already cold in her bed. 
I was in my back porch beginning to hang my washing and heard A phoning the ambulance, they arrived quickly and were soon followed by police. 

I went around and spoke to A for a while, to see if she needed anything, if there was anything I could do, but everything was under control. We both cried a bit, even though we'd been expecting this for a long while now, it is still sad when the day actually happens.
A did ask me to walk around to other P and let her know. Other P has done a bit of shopping now and again for ill P, mostly cigarettes and newspapers, cat food.

I asked if I could rescue P's potplants, she had quite a few on her front porch and most of them weren't looking too good, some were already dead. 
A phoned around a bit to other carers and P's brother to see if it was okay, or if they wanted any of the plants, nobody wanted them, so now they are all in the shade around the side of my flat, where my garden is and they've all had a good watering. 
I think keeping them alive and incorporating them into my garden is a nice way to remember P, who was always nice to me.


  1. Rescuing and nurturing her plants is a wonderful way of remembering P.
    I am sorry for the shock to you and to her carers and family, but glad that she got her wish to die at home.

  2. How sad. I do hope her plants thrive in your garden. That's a nice way to remember P.

  3. Very sorry about your neighbour. It's never easy to learn of such news.
    She is indeed fortunate that her final time wasn't spent in a hospital or nursing home.
    I think we all wish to be able to go in our sleep when our time comes.
    I agree, caring for her plants is a lovely way to remember her. They will thrive now, I'm sure.

  4. Elephant's Child; not a shock, we've been expecting it and I'm glad she was found quickly.

    fishducky; sad, but I'm glad she's gone, she must have been suffering, I think she had palliative care people looking after her, but I haven't seen anyone coming and going from there.

    Tracy; a lot of the smaller plants are dead, but I'll replant the pots. The bigger ones seem okay, the jade plant I gave her when she moved in is doing well. I like to think she knows I have them.

    Vicki; it's not unexpected news, but no less sad for that. I did wish sometimes she would agree to a nursing home, because of the smoking, if her place caught fire, mine would go too. I think her plants will acclimatise to my side quite well, none of them are delicate plants.

  5. Sad. She was certainly a fighter for life. It's nice that her neighbours were kind to her, yourself included, and through her plants you will think of her at times.

  6. The poor soul...finally she's at peace. I think it so sad, but I think it is also good that people like yourself cared.

    I think P would've liked you to have her plants...they will be in safe and caring hands.

    RIP to your least she went peacefully the dear lady.

  7. She's at peace now. Dreadful thing is cancer. Kind of you to look out for her when she was alive..

  8. Very sad, But her life was not to good lately.
    Nice you have her plants to remember her, she would be pleased that they are being looked after,

  9. Andrew; the neighbours were kind, most of us here are like that, looking out for each other. I think it's nice.

    Lee; I'm glad she is at peace now, no more suffering. I remember helping her with the plants sometimes when things appeared to be dying, I'd show her how to trim them.

    Margaret-whiteangel; cancer is a vicious thing and indiscriminate in its victims. I didn't mind helping out.

    Merle; her life had been terrible since last winter, but she managed to hang on and see Christmas. I think she'll be happy I have her plants.

  10. Putting the plants in your garden sounds like a great way to remember your neighbor. You can think of her every time you care for them.

  11. What a sad start to your day. You will be keeping her memory alive by caring for her plants. I think that's a lovely idea.

  12. Your very nice garden will be even nicer, and P will be pleased.

  13. There are few things in life more precious than caring friends and I'm certain she appreciated you more than you can know.

  14. Kathy G; plants are a nice way to remember someone.

    Delores; I like to think she's happy that I have them. I watered them a few times when she was in hospital, my hose reaches far enough for that.

    Joanne; the pots will fill a few spots that are empty once I get the plants recovered and growing.

    Jacquelineand....I'm going to miss her, I didn't visit very often, she was a chain smoker and I have asthma, but she understood I couldn't be inside her flat for very long or too often, sometimes we would sit on her porch and she would show off each new shoot on plants that I had given her. I know she appreciated me looking after her cat each time she was in hospital.

  15. Even though a person is not expected to live it is still a shock to all when the end comes.
    I think it great for you to give her plants TLC and a nice way to remember your neighbour.

  16. Oh wow. See, usually people like this live forever! I know she was ill, but I was still expecting her to go on always.

  17. I am sorry to hear of your neighbour's passing. I am sure you will give her plants great care and such a lovely thing to do for her.

  18. I am sorry to hear of your neighbour's passing. I am sure you will give her plants great care and such a lovely thing to do for her.


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