I've been doing a lot of crying lately.
Quite unusual for me.
Clearly I don't have the control over my emotions that I used to have.
It's like a flood back here.
In the past, I've watched movies and TV shows that had the potential to be tearjerkers.
You know the sort, where you settle down to watch, but make sure the new jumbo-sized box of tissues is right there beside the choccies.
But while I've felt the emotions, I haven't cried.
Now? Holy heck, batman! I'd better buy some more tissues!!
I've watched several TV series, Criminal Minds; Stargate; Bones; and gotten to know and love the characters. Movies too.
So now, when the characters I love the most are having problems, I cry. When they're in danger, I cry. When something good happens to them, I cry.
I'm an emotional wreck over here.
But I don't feel bad about this.
It's actually a relief to be able to do this.
After years of holding back, being "the strong one", while L fell apart over whatever newest drama he was going through, I'm able to let loose myself.
And I'm able to talk about things with my friends at work.
My standard reply is no longer "I'm fine" when asked how I am.
Now I say I'm having a bad day if I am. I can even say why, if I know the reason.
(Sometimes I don't, it's just a build-up of many small things going wrong.)
This is very cleansing and I feel better for not having to hide my feelings so much.
Trapped Like The Rat That I Am
1 hour ago