I have little energy today
I'm not physically tired, it's more an emotional draining
I've learned that my ex-father in law is in the hospital here.
He has emphysema and pneumonia.
He's 85.
He's a tough old thing and could get well enough to go home again.
Here's where I fall apart. Should I go and see him? Should I not?
There was a family gathering years ago, where I was feeling a little humiliated. Probably wrong of me, but I felt it quite keenly at the time and distanced myself emotionally from the family. (K's family; my own family was never close. )
I distanced myself even further when K and I divorced a few years after that.
It's what I do; it's how I cope with emotional pain.
I haven't seen K's parents since that time.
The rift is wide.
20 years wide.
What to do? I kind of feel like I should go and see him, but part of me says why?
Would he even recognise me after all this time?
Would I recognise him?
It's been 20 years. He's 85.
I don't know how long he's been in the hospital, I didn't think to ask.
Go? Don't go?
I'll sleep on it.
I've learned that my ex-father in law is in the hospital here.He has emphysema and pneumonia.
He's 85.
He's a tough old thing and could get well enough to go home again.
Here's where I fall apart. Should I go and see him? Should I not?
There was a family gathering years ago, where I was feeling a little humiliated. Probably wrong of me, but I felt it quite keenly at the time and distanced myself emotionally from the family. (K's family; my own family was never close. )
I distanced myself even further when K and I divorced a few years after that.
It's what I do; it's how I cope with emotional pain.
I haven't seen K's parents since that time.
The rift is wide.
20 years wide.
What to do? I kind of feel like I should go and see him, but part of me says why?
Would he even recognise me after all this time?
Would I recognise him?
It's been 20 years. He's 85.
I don't know how long he's been in the hospital, I didn't think to ask.
Go? Don't go?
I'll sleep on it.
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I'm not going, but then I hate emotional shit even more than you do.
ReplyDeletekalamac; I have my own appointments to take care of tomorrow, then I'll phone and if he's still there, I'll go. I can combine it with taking my camera to the botanic gardens.
ReplyDeleteI divorced my ex 20 years ago but I attended my mother in laws funeral, she was 93yo, my children coped with her loss better by having me there.
ReplyDeleteGo and see him, why not? It could change everything.
ReplyDeleteFrances; none of us is very close to him or the mother in law either. I'm still trying to think what the heck I'd say to him/them.
ReplyDeleteR.H.; I'm still deciding. I was going into town yesterday, but it was cold and rainy and I spent the day watching dvd's instead. i still haven't even rung the hospital to see if he's still there.
I'm with RH - maybe just five minutes could provide some 'closure' or simply just make a sick old bloke smile....?
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ReplyDelete